


Anomalous

by kymberlyblack



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-01-29 02:56:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21403024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kymberlyblack/pseuds/kymberlyblack
Summary: Bree thought her Uncle Jowan's strict rules and fantastical stories about a place called Fereldan were some coping mechanism. Or an undiagnosed mental disorder. Either way, she was almost an adult and would be able to strike out on her own, and if need be, get her uncle some help. Only that's not how things were playing out...
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Iron Bull
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

“I thought we had agreed,” my uncle looked at me, face neutral. I had known what his reaction was going to be, but I wanted it.  
“I know,” I smiled. “But they look amazing,” I wiggled my now pink gel nails at him.  
“No unnatural colors!” he threw his hands up. “Pink falls under that purview.”  
“Come on! I've followed all the other rules. No cutting my hair, no coloring it, no tattoos, no piercings, minimal makeup! Why can't I just have this one thing? Just this one?”  
He looked at me and I him. I felt myself getting frustrated. It was so hard living with him. Dealing with him and his never-ending nonsensical rules.  
“Alright,” he nodded. “Alright. And don't think I haven't noticed your minimal makeup is slowly moving towards a full face.”  
I smiled. I wore tinted lip glosses and sheer lipsticks, colored brow gel, and I had secretly been getting lash extensions. I did just get a bb cream. But it was unlike him to give in. I swung my nearly waist-length hair over my shoulder so I could braid it. I always wondered if it was my mother or father who had given me the strawberry blonde hair and dusting of freckles across my nose and cheeks.  
“What? Really?”  
“Really,” he smiled.  
“I had my whole argument cued up and everything.” I was grateful I still had my boots on, or he would have noticed the matching pink gel toes.  
“Would it have worked?” he asked, tossing another log on the fire and then leaning against the fireplace.  
“No, it was rubbish,” I smiled. And then it hit me. He said when we go. “Uncle J...”  
“Hmm?” he didn't look at me, his eyes still trained on the fire. His dark brown hair was greying at the temples more and more every day. But he still looked youthful. People confused him for my father all the time. But today he looked old. It was the way his broad shoulders were hunched forward.  
“You said when we go,” I didn't finish my sentence on purpose. We had gone so long without a.... relapse? No, that wasn't right.  
“We'll be going home soon,” he smiled. “Maker how I miss it.”  
“This is home,” I took in a deep breath to prepare myself. It was going to be one of those nights...  
“No little one,” he looked at me now, his brown eyes happy. “This is where we hid, where we survived.”  
“Uncle J, you're sick,” I tried to soothe him, as I did whenever he got into these...episodes? I wasn't sure what to call them.  
“Will you listen to an old man?” he asked, moving to sit in his chair. He motioned for me to sit as well. I debated it for a moment before agreeing.  
“I'll listen, if you promise you'll listen to me after,” A nod was the answer I received.  
“I've told you this story so many times since you were a child, you use to beg it of me. But now you are grown. A beautiful woman you have become, just like your mother” he smiled and I felt myself smiling despite the situation.  
“It seems you have forgotten it, so busy with this loud place,” he waved his hand around. “And all it's distractions. So I will remind you.”  
I had never actually forgotten it, how could I? He talked about nothing else.  
“As you know, I am not your uncle by blood, but by promise. An oath I took to keep and protect you. One I have fulfilled for many long years.”  
“I'm not that bad,” I giggled.  
“Your mother, Elissa Cousland, the hero of Fereldan. She killed the Archdemon and stopped the fifth blight. She saved my life. You know, I thought she meant it when she told me she never wanted to see me again. But when she turned up at the small farm I had taken refuge in, babe in her arms, magic coursing through you so strong...”  
He seemed to fade away for a moment, lost in whatever world he had imagined this all happened in. There were times when I wondered if I should tell someone, but it never seemed dangerous. Excessively daydreaming didn't mean you were crazy, did it?  
“You were a miracle of magic,” he was looking at me now. “A female warden conceiving a child is rare. The blight taints the womb you see. It is similar with male wardens. But two wardens conceiving a child? Never before has it happened. But your mother did.”  
“Jowan..”  
“She made a deal with Morrigan, to survive killing the beast so she could live with her love, it was all very romantic. But what they didn't know about was you. The essence of the archdemon was supposed to go into Morrigan's womb. Only it had one closer. You.”  
“So I'm the reincarnation of a scary archdemon. Thanks a lot,” I smiled. I had never heard this part of the story.  
“This world has no magic,” he sighed. “But I can feel it in you.”  
“So how did it end? Did my mother marry her love and live happily ever after?”  
He shook his head no.  
“Before she could tell him about you he...well he chose his duty to the kingdom. He married Anora and took his rightful place as the King.”  
“Wow. What a prick. Why'd you make him my father in the story? I think I would have liked the elf Zevran or even Sten the Qunari.”  
“I wish it were as simple as just changing the story. But it is what it is.”  
“It's a good story. I'm glad you didn't talk about the darkspawn though, they always give me nightmares.”  
He smiled as he stood.  
“I'll feed the cookstove. Decide what you would like for dinner.”  
“You know it would be so much easier if we just got electricity in here!”  
“You will thank me when we go back to Thedas,” he called from out of the kitchen. I looked around at the small cabin I grew up in. Candles and oil lamps were are the only source of light, beyond natural. Going to school was like stepping into the future and I couldn't wait until I was 18. I could move out, go full time at the feed store and have all the modern conveniences I wanted. But a part of me worried about uncle J. What would he do? Would he dissolve entirely into this...imaginary world of his? I didn't like to think that I would have to report him to adult social services if he got worse. But I would, for his sake.  
“Bree come quickly!”  
I bolted to my feet, my heeled boots clacking loudly as I ran into the kitchen. Except he wasn't in here.  
“Jowan?” I called, worry blooming in my chest.  
“In here!” he cried and I hustled into his room. He was standing in front of the large mirror, an eluvian, as he called it. Only instead of his reflection, it was swirling.  
“Grab your things! Quickly!”  
“Is this some kind of trick or ?” I watched it swirling gently as my uncle dashed about his room, packing a bag.  
“GO!” he bellowed and I did. Was I just humoring him? A part of me wanted to just leave. How had he gotten the mirror to do that? Was it some kind of chemical? Or a special effect? I was thinking so much I barely realized I was packing a bag. What does one pack when going with their borderline crazy uncle to a make-believe world?  
“I've got your other bag,” he called.  
“What other bag?!” I yelled back. I put a few books in my pack, a sweater, my iPod, makeup bag. A package of Oreos I had bought at the store earlier and kept on my dresser. I opened the drawer and noticed some of my clothes missing.  
“Hurry girl!” he was in the doorway. “If you can't bear to part with it, pack it. You will never look upon this room again.”  
“Is this going to take long? I have homework due tomorrow,” I mumbled as I zipped my backpack closed. He just laughed and took my hand. He was carrying two big packs but he didn't seem to notice the weight as he sprinted down the hall to his room.  
“Hold fast,” he laughed as he continued to run towards the mirror. I tried to put on the breaks, not wanting to slam into the mirror going this fast.  
I screeched as he reached it. But it didn't break. He pulled me through it and a sensation washed over me. Like a weight I didn't know I had been carrying was lifted. I opened my mouth to speak, to scream. Something. But nothing came. He kept going, and it was all I could do to keep myself from falling down in hysterics. There were so many mirrors in this place. The ground was uneven and covered in an unmoving fog. It was so still.  
“There it is,” he pointed with his free hand. Another swirling mirror, identical to my eye. But I was reasonably sure I had passed out. Maybe we ran into the mirror and I hit my head. The cool sensation was back and I had to shield my eyes as we stepped out, the sun so bright.  
“Welcome home,” he took in a deep breath and pulled me to his side. “Thedas.” He used the arm that wasn't around my shoulders to gesture to the beautiful scenery. Mountains with snow caps stood surrounded by clear blue skies, and nestled up to it was lush forest and green valleys.  
“Uncle Jowan...” I whispered.  
“It's real,” he assured me. “Unspoilt, beautiful. Do you feel it?”  
I turned to look at him. He stepped away and closed his eyes. I watched as fire erupted into his hands.  
“I've missed this,” he sighed as he looked at it. It burned away quickly. “I'll be needing a staff.”  
“It's REAL?” I screeched, feeling my head swimming. “I thought you were making it up, I thought it was some kind of coping mechanism. Oh my god, oh my god.”  
“No god, just the Maker here. And Andraste. “  
My hands were shaking violently, fear clawing at me, stealing my breath.  
“Calm down Bree,” he took my hands and let them go with a yelp. He looked at me for a moment before a grin broke out on his face. “I knew I could feel it in you.”  
All the little hairs stood up on my arms before I heard a ringing in my ears. It was so loud I couldn't hear what my uncle was saying. My legs gave way under me and darkness swallowed me.

“Bree,” someone was calling my name softly. I opened my eyes slowly, the ceiling I was looking at was a grey color, some kind of stone. “Ah, there you are my child.”  
I rolled my eyes to look at an elderly woman sitting in a chair next to me. She was holding my hand.  
“What are you wearing?” I asked, looking at the tall red and white hat thing she had on.  
“My habit,” she had a kind smile and soft eyes.  
“Are you a nun?”  
“I am the Divine, you may call me Justinia.”  
“Bree Cousland,” I rubbed my aching forehead. “Where is my uncle?”  
“He went down to Haven to secure lodging,” she got up and walked over to a pitcher and a strange goblet. She poured water into it and brought it back. “It is just water child.”  
I sat up, thanking her as I took it.  
“Such a pretty color,” she reached out and gently ran a strand of my hair through her fingers.  
“Thank you.”  
“Your mother is a redhead as well, though hers is darker,” she smiled.  
“So where am I?” I asked.  
“This is the Temple of Sacred Ashes, Jowan has explained your circumstances. An extraordinary tale. You will have to tell me more about your world sometime.”  
“Is this real?” I took another big drink. The water was cool and clear. Was I dead? Or in a coma? Dreaming very vividly?  
“Yes my child. I have a prior engagement that takes precedence, but I will be back to speak with you more. Feel free to walk about the temple, but do so with caution. And do not leave the grounds. Your manner of dress will make you stand out. Here you are protected.”  
I nodded, for lack of something better to do. She left with a smile and I felt like screaming. Uncle J just left me here, in this weird temple full of strangers. What the hell. I saw my backpack leaning against the wall and could have cried in relief. I got up and rummaged around until I found my iPod. I plugged in and let Adele soothe me as I wandered to the door. It took me a minute to figure out how to open it, the latch was weird. I stuffed my iPod in the back of my jeans pocket and pulled my flannel closer around me. It was chilly in here. I could hear the sounds of my tan heeled booties clicking on the stone floor. I saw some people, in strange robes. They looked at me as I was sure I was looking at them, in wonder and probably strangely. I was glad my headphones were in. I didn't want to hear what they were whispering about.  
I kept walking, no real direction in mind. I just let my feet lead me, and they seemed to know where they were going.

I awoke with a start that jarred me painfully. All of a sudden a dozen or so places on me began to ache, but nothing like my hand. It felt like there was...a crackle of green light startled me and I fell over, not realizing I was on my knees. I tried to catch myself but my hands were chained. A door opened and I could hear people coming this way. I sat up and watched as two women moved towards me. I was shaking, the room was so cold.  
“Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now?” one of them hissed into my ear.  
“What?!” I felt tears begin to bubble in my eyes now. Kill me?!  
“The conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you.”  
My mind raced to my Uncle J, and then to the kind woman, Justinia. Then it hit me. She was insinuating I had something to do with it. But what happened? How as I alive? I was walking in the halls, listening to my music....  
“I didn't do anything!”  
She roughly grabbed my hand up, pulling me off my knees temporarily.  
“Then explain this!” and she threw my hand back down. I looked to see the green crackling light was coming from my hand. There was a wound, a cut in the middle of my palm, but instead of seeing fat and tissue there was this green pulsating light. It throbbed and beat with its own pulse. It felt like it was trying to tear my hand in half.  
“I can't!” and I really couldn't. What the hell was that thing? How did it get on my hand? Better question, how did I get it off?  
“What do you mean you can't?” she barked, her accent nothing I had ever heard before. They were both circling me now.  
“I don't know what that is, or how it got there!”  
“You're lying!” the short-haired one seethed and grabbed me by my flannel. She jostled me a few times before the redhead stepped in and pulled her away.  
“We need her Cassandra,” her voice was calm, pleasant. But her face was just as angry as the others.  
“Do you remember what happened? How this began?”  
I licked my lips and thought.  
“I remember walking in the halls...” and then it came rushing back. I was running in the dark and there were things moving. A woman was there, calling to me, she was bright, like a beacon in the dark.  
“I remember running...things were chasing me...and then...a woman.”  
“A woman?”  
“She reached out to me. I think I took her hand and then...” I was getting frustrated. How could I not remember? What happened to me? They began talking but I wasn't paying it any attention, still lost in my thoughts. What the hell was happening? Where was Jowan?  
“My uncle Jowan, he was in Haven.”  
“Jowan?” the redhead looked at me. “What is your name?”  
“Bree Cousland,” I swallowed nervously as I looked at them. Something passed between them and the dark-haired one left.  
“What is your mother's name?” she crouched down to look at me.  
“Elissa Cousland. I don't know my father's name. Jowan never told me,” I heard her hiss of a gasp.  
“Bree!” I heard my uncle's voice and I felt the tears begin to fall. He raced in and fell to his knees in front of me. He cupped my face as I cried, turning it this way and that. Then he looked at my hand.  
“Maker save us,” he whispered.  
“She says she is the daughter of Elissa Cousland. But she is far too old...”  
“I did not keep her here nightingale,” Jowan got to his feet. “Time is not the same where we came from.”  
“Outrageous!” the dark-haired woman cried. The redhead held up her hand.  
“Do you have proof?”  
“I have letters that Elissa wrote for Bree and one for the King.”  
She nodded, moving forward to release my hands. Jowan reached under my armpits to help me up, my legs had that stinging feeling that let me know they had fallen 'asleep'.  
I walked slowly at first, shuffling along the cold stone room. When the doors opened the light was so bright, I had to shield my eyes. I looked up for the sun and instead, I found a large, green vortex in the sky. It was massive and looked to be defying the laws of gravity by allowing large boulders and debris to seemingly float beneath it. I tucked the loose hair away from my face behind my ears when a watched what looked like a lightning bolt of green cracked out of it. My hand exploded and I fell to my knees from the pain.  
“Oh sweet baby Jesus,” I breathed. It felt like that big green vortex was trying to pull my wound back into itself.  
“We call it the breach,” the dark-haired woman looked down at me. “It's a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It's not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the conclave.”  
“Demons?” but no one seemed concerned.  
“Each time the breach expands your mark spreads and it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this but there isn't much time.”  
I felt light-headed. Killing me? I was dying?  
“The letters are on the way,” Jowan and the redhead turned at the same time. The dark-haired woman helped me to my feet.  
“I am Cassandra,” she nodded down at me. “Your mark may be the only chance we have to close the breach.”  
“Close it?” I asked, mind falling apart. I chanced a glance around and everyone was staring at me. And not kindly.  
“They have decided your guilt, they need it. They mourn the most holy, Divine Justinia.”  
“I met her,” I whispered.  
“What?” she looked down at me.  
“When Jowan and I arrived. I...fainted. I think. And when I woke she was holding my hand.”  
“You were with the Divine?”  
“Yes, she said Jowan had told her of..well he told her everything. She was very kind to me.”  
She said nothing, save to nod. She took my arm as she began to walk faster to catch up to Jowan and the redhead.  
“She is Leliana. She fought with the Hero of Fereldan.”  
It was my turn to say nothing. Jowan slipped into a small tent and came out as we arrived.  
“I was going to give these to you when we arrived,” Jowan handed a thick pack of letters to Leliana. She was quick as she opened one and then another.  
“She could only be thirteen,” Leliana looked at me and then to Jowan.  
“It has been thirteen years. But time is different where we come from. We have aged quicker. I am only 36, yet I look ages older. Lack of magic, I believe.”  
“Are we really believing this is the daughter of the Hero of Fereldan?” Cassandra asked.  
“She certainly looks like her,” Leliana suddenly stepped forward and began to pull my flannel off.  
“What are you doing?” I didn't fight her as she did it. When she got it off she turned me around and lifted my shirt. “Hey!”  
“It is her,” I felt her touch my birthmark. “It is the same as her mother. She told me once her mother had it as well.”  
My shirt was dropped and my flannel handed back to me. I slipped it on and crossed my arms to try and warm up.  
Cassandra motioned for Leliana and they stepped away from us. I looked to Jowan and he smiled sadly at me.  
“This was supposed to be the greatest day of your life,” he ran a hand over his face.  
“Am I going to die?” I asked, not wanting to know, but asking anyway. He pulled me to his chest and I wrapped my arms around him. I felt sobs begin to wrack through me, but I couldn't stop it. He rubbed my back, trying to soothe me.  
“You are stronger than you know,” he whispered. “There is a power within you, a power that is wholly yours. I can feel it, so much stronger than when you were a babe.”  
“I don't know what you're talking about,” I mumbled. “I don't feel strong.”  
“You will, and I will be by your side every step of the way.”  
“Come, we will need to test your mark out on something smaller than the breach.”

A bald man with pointed ears grabbed my left hand and thrust it towards the smaller rift. Green shot out from my hand and into the smaller rift. Instead of feeling like my hand was going to be pulled off, it now felt full. Like I was pulling the rift into myself. It closed off suddenly, with a small crack. I pulled my hand away from the man and stared at it. It shook, but the pain that was there was ebbing away. Maybe the more I closed the less it would hurt? Made sense, sort of. Fewer rifts, less agonizing tearing at my hand.  
“What did you do?” I asked him. He leveled a very neutral face at me. Not even his eyes had any emotion.  
“I did nothing, the credit is yours.” His voice was soft, but not feminine.  
“You mean this,” I waved my wounded hand.  
“Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake and it seems I was correct.”  
“Meaning it could also close the breach itself,” Cassandra offered.  
“Wait,” I put a hand up. “How did you come to that conclusion? What if this thing on my hand just exploded when it reacted with a rift? Or grew to the point of my death when it connected to another one?”  
“It could have,” he nodded, his hazelly eyes pinned on me. I felt anger building.  
“You endangered my life for theory built on bullshit?” the little hairs began to stand up all over my body. A bolt of lightning, dazzlingly white struck the rock face near where we were standing, raining debris down on us. Thunder followed it quickly, a horrible, cracking booming noise.  
Everyone had crouched except for me and I realized how odd that was. Why didn't I drop? Baldy got to his feet slowly, looking at me with an expression of surprise and interest.  
“Who are you?” he asked.  
“Bree Cousland,” I replied. “Who are you.”  
“Solas,”  
“Cousland?!” I turned to look at the shortest, and the strongest looking man I had ever seen. “As in Hero of Fereldan family Cousland?”  
“Her mother,” Cassandra replied. He had a confused look on his face so she and Jowan filled them in on our particular situation.  
“Varric Tethras,” he smiled and held a hand out for me to shake.  
“Bree,” I don't know what I expected, but his grip was gentle.  
“So...” he looked at me and I waited. “Mage?”  
I looked to Jowan for an explanation.  
“Practicer of magic. And yes, I suppose she is.”  
“What does that mean?”  
“Some conditions are surrounding her birth that are...complicated.”  
“Heard a story about a ritual that was performed,” Varric looked at Jowan and then to me. “Saved the Hero's life.”  
Jowan nodded. Nobody spoke for a few moments.  
“You will need to explain this further when we reach the forward camp.” And then she was walking, Solas giving me one last look before following her. Jowan sighed and began walking as well.  
“Shit,” Varric looked up at me.  
“Yeah,” I nodded. “It's been a fucking day.”  
He laughed and it felt...normal. The most normal thing so far.  
“Let's go, kid,” he shook his head as we walked.  
“Jowan?” I asked as we trekked through the hellishly cold mountain terrain.  
“Dove?” he was using his pet name for me. He was worried.  
“Tell me about the archdemon thing.”  
I knew everyone was pretending not to listen, but I didn't care. I had a right to know if I was a reincarnated demon or something.  
“Technically an archdemon is simply an old god that has been corrupted, so when Morrigan cast her spell, the corrupt part of it died when the vessel died.”  
“Make sense,” I demanded.  
“You have the soul of Urthemiel, the Dragon of Beauty inside of you. Worshipped once by ancient Tevinter he was considered to be the fairest and most graceful of the old gods.”  
“So...do I have a soul of my own?” I asked. Solas and Jowan both turned their heads to look at me. “Or did this Urthemiel displace mine when he barged into my body?”  
“I do not know,” Jowan shrugged. Solas's eyes found mine and I found I didn't really care for him. There was no real reasoning behind it. At least none I could think of. It was just a feeling.  
After fighting demons, and by fighting I mean me hiding because they were horrible, leathery-looking flesh bags with weird shapes and the foulest smell.  
“Another rift!” Cassandra yelled as we climbed the steep incline before the forward camp.  
“We must seal it, quickly!” Solas yelled.  
I would have rolled my eyes if I had time, but a ghost or something very similar appeared next to me. I backed away but it followed me, floating quickly, hands raised. I threw my hands up, willing it to go away. My palms felt warm suddenly and then a torrential stream of fire exploded out of them, red and orange flames destroying it. I closed my hands and they were gone as quickly as they had come.  
“The rift!” Jowan yelled and it was enough to get me moving again. I lifted my hand and it immediately connected to the rift. They were attracted to one another. I closed my hand as I did with the fire and it closed quickly. I looked back to see Jowan and Solas examing the scorch marks I had left on the ground.  
“It looks like a dragon's scorch mark,” Cassandra looked over to me. She didn't speak, and I felt uncomfortable with so many looking at me.  
“Nice job with the fire,” Varric nudged me.  
“I don't know how I did it,” I whispered to him. “I just put my hands up.”  
“Saved your butt, it doesn't matter how it works, as long as it does when you need it to.”  
“Thanks,” I smile down at him. “So...what are you?”  
He looked up at me and laughed.  
“A dwarf.”  
“Okay,” I nodded. Dwarves were a thing here. Alright. “What's Solas?”  
“An elf.”  
“Wow. I am not impressed,” I replied. Varric burst out laughing again. “Tolkien and Peter Jackson have done me dirty.” At his quizzical look, I gave him a very brief overview of Middle Earth and the peoples therein. “So wow, I was expecting devastatingly handsome elves with long hair.”  
“The disappointment must be crushing,” Varric sounded like he was trying not to laugh again.  
“Let us go,” Cassandra commanded and we followed.

I survived the verbal lashing of Chancellor Roderick, or as I was calling him in my mind, Roderick the big prick. And the mountain pass where more demons and ghosts were waiting, along with another rift. And now I was standing in what was left of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. There were bodies still on fire, some petrified in their last positions on this earth. The sadness, the death. It was overwhelming. I had to choke back sobs several times as we walked through it, but I let the tears flow.  
Cassandra said something about where they found me, but I didn't look. I didn't want to have to face my mortality in such a harsh light. Or question why I was here when so many were not.  
“You made it!” Leliana called to us as she came around the corner. Solas began talking about reopening a rift that was kind of closed, but I was a million miles away. My heart was hammering in my chest, I was scared. Terrified. Of what though? The breach? The smaller rift? I moved with them when a voice rang out. Deep. Familiar. But from where?  
I listened and tried to focus. But so many things were running through my mind. We just got to the bottom when I heard Justinia's voice.  
“Someone help me!”  
“Hey! What are you doing?”  
And that was me.  
“That was your voice. Most Holy called out to you...But”  
All of a sudden shadowy images were floating in the air around us. Justinia was suspended, something red was holding her arms. A large dark figure with glowing red eyes was near her.  
“Hey! What are you doing?” I appeared then, standing a few feet away from them.  
“Run while you can! Bree, warn them!” Justinia looked at my ghostly self.  
“We have an intruder,” the glowing-eyed man spoke. “Kill her.”  
And in a flash, it was gone.  
“You were there! Who attacked? And the Divine is she...? Was this vision true? What are we seeing?”  
“Echoes of what happened here. The Fade bleeds into this place,” Solas replied. And then directed me to open the rift so I could close it again. Properly. A demon the size of a Tolkien cave troll came out and I swear it sounded like it was laughing. I found myself being guided by Leliana and Jowan. They kept themselves in front of me the entire time. It didn't take long before it fell to its knees and Cassandra was screaming for me to seal it. I did, but the second I connected I knew I was in trouble. The rift itself was closing, but the breach. It was big. To big. I could feel things, things bigger than the breach itself waiting, wanting to come out. I shook with the effort but I was getting weaker. I gave one more push, for lack of a better term before darkness swallowed me.  
Something cold touched my lips. A few drops of water slid slowly into my mouth and I licked, trying to get more.  
“Bree?”  
It was Jowan, I would know his voice anywhere. I slowly opened my eyes, blinking a few times. He was there, brow furrowed.  
“Oh hey,” I smiled. His brow unfurrowed and he smiled.  
“You had me worried dove,” he tapped my nose.  
“Just taking a little nap,” I grinned and he shook his head. “Can I have some more water, my throat is so dry.”  
“Can you sit up?” Good question. I braced my arms and scooted up. Nothing hurt, I felt pretty good in all honesty. He handed me a large wooden mug and took it, wondering at the heft of the thing. I took several deep drinks and sighed.  
“So did it work?” I asked.  
“Yes and no,” he was staring out the window.  
“Ambivalent much,” I jabbed, getting to my feet. “Did it work or not?”  
“It's stopped growing, as has the mark on your hand,” he turned to look at me. I smiled and he shook his head, closing the wooden shades and latching them. “You have been asleep for three days.”  
“Rip Van Winkle nap,” I set the large wooden cup down on a desk in the corner and stretched. He watched and I could feel he had something to say. And it wasn't going to be good.  
“The tension is killing me, just say it. Scream it, write it down. Something.”  
“Leliana sent a message to your mother. She is aware of the situation. She sent this for you,” he was holding a thick envelope out to me. It was already opened.  
“Did you read it?” seems like a very not Jowan thing to do.  
“She instructed me too. It's in the letter. When you have finished, come to the Chantry. The largest building, to the left.”  
I watched him go, a rock sinking into my gut. I sat down where I was standing and slid several pages out.  
My beloved Bree,  
So many things I could say will say. But this letter is not private so I will save it for when I see you with my own eyes. But know this daughter, I love you. I have never not loved you, I do not know how. Sending you away was no easy task, and I have missed you every day. Leliana says you have grown into a beautiful woman, that you share my likeness around the mouth and your eyes are as mine fills my heart.  
Now for the current issue, I have been told you are the sole survivor of the explosion at the Temple of Sacred Ashes and that you carry a mark with the power to close the rifts. I am sorry this burden has fallen to you, if I could carry it for you, I would do so in an instant. As would I be there with you if I could. Though you are closer now to me than you have been in all these long years, I am still very far from you. I cannot falter in my search, for the fate of not only myself but of all the Grey Wardens balances on a razor's edge. I search for a way to stop the Calling, magic that preys upon our connection to the Blight and darkspawn and will lead to my eventual death.  
All this upon your shoulders my beloved Bree, remember to take care. Trust your allies. Seek comfort in your friends. Be true to yourself and do what is right. You are a Cousland. You are my daughter, I love you with every fiber of my being, and I am proud of the woman you have become.

Love eternally,  
Elissa Cousland

There were more pages, but it was a letter for Jowan, information about coins, which I assumed is money here, something about an estate.  
I set them on the desk and decided it was time to head to the Chantry. I ran my hands through my hair, double-checked my clothes. A little dirty, but I'd survive. The damn door latch gave me trouble again but when I got it open I was greeted by people waiting outside. I shut the door quickly. What the heck!? Why were so many people out there? I ran to the window and threw open the wooden shudders. It faced another building but there was wood stacked high enough up that no one would see me. I hoisted myself up to sit on the ledge, but I lost my balance and fell out backward. The snow was cold but at least I wasn't hurt. I got to my feet and leaned in to close the shudders. Jowan said to the left, so I walked around the back of the buildings until it came out to a stone path. I looked to the left and could see the Chantry. I walked quickly out, not wanting to be noticed. But there were more people, dressed like Justinia waiting outside. I could hear them whispering about me, and the level of awkward was high. Someone opened the doors for me and I thanked them.  
I stood there, in the doorway wondering where in the Chantry I was supposed to go, when I heard shouting. I followed it, marveling at the wooded structure around me. It was beautiful, but I had some concerns about the random candles just strewn about. Serious fire hazard. Two guards were outside the door, all in full knight looking armor. They nodded to me and one opened the door.  
“Chain her! I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial,” Roderick the big prick was going full force now.  
“Disregard that, and leave us,” and sure as shit. They saluted Cassandra and left. I guess she was in charge here.  
“You walk a dangerous line, Seeker,” Roderick moved closer to me and I stepped away.  
“The Breach is stable, but it is still a threat. I will not ignore it,” Cassandra crossed her arms and leveled her gaze at him.  
“I did what I could,” I reminded him.  
“And yet you live. A convenient result,” he sneered.  
“Should I have died? Would that have somehow made you less of a prick to me?” I snapped. Leliana stepped in and I listened to her tell him that he was a suspect right along with the others. Cassandra moved in now, telling him about the weird mirage image thing we saw at the temple. I realized they were looking at me and I had to think hard about what was said.  
“I might be, I honestly have no idea.”  
“The Maker does as He will. It is not for me to say,” Cassandra smiled. And the next thing I know Cassandra is slamming a heavy, metal encrusted book down on the table. I had been daydreaming about a bath and something to eat.  
“We must act now, with you at our side.”  
I looked into her face, her eyes.  
“I'm scared, but I'll do what I can,” and I took her hand. She had a firm grip, but I had seen her swing a sword so it made sense.  
“Your mother would be proud,” Leliana smiled at me.  
“Let's hope so. What's next?”  
“Tell us about yourself. Where you come from. Jowan has told us some.”  
“Well, I'm seventeen..”  
“Seventeen? Your mother was twenty when she began her journey,” Leliana sighed. “What skills do you have?”  
“I can cook, I can read. Add, subtract, divide, multiply. I really might be useless, to be honest.” No one said anything and I sighed. “You know that where I come from I'm not even considered an adult yet. I can't drink liquor...”  
“But you have magic,” Cassandra looked at me. “I have seen it. Lightning and fire. There are people who can train you. Solas..”  
“I don't want to work with him,” I blurted out.  
“Why?” Leliana stepped up. “Has he been inappropriate towards you?”  
“No, he gives me weird vibes.” I got owlish stares. “Vibe means like...you know how you can get a feel for people? How they can make you feel certain things without ever having said or done anything? That's the word for it. Vibes. People can give off good ones, scary ones, sexy ones or worst of all. No vibe. And that's what I get from him. Nothing. And that's weird.”  
“What vibe do you get from me?” Cassandra was smirking a little and it made me smile.  
“Dedicated, strong, militant, practical. But you are also kind, caring. All in all, you are a good person.”  
“You get all that from my vibe?” she asked, incredulous.  
“Nah, your vibe is good. I got the rest of that from hanging out with you on the way to the breach.”  
Leliana laughed.  
“Know where I can find food?” I asked, my stomach giving out a loud growl. Leliana told me to go to the singing maiden and talk to Flissa.  
I ate and talked to Flissa and a few others. Herald of Andraste was weird to hear, so was just being called the Herald. I left, feeling a little crowded by all the people. And they just followed me. I didn't want to run because that would have looked weird. I saw Varric entering a tent and I beelined inside right behind him and held the flap shut.  
He looked at me with wide eyes.  
“They won't stop following me,” I whispered. He made a scooting motion and I moved over a little so he could peek out.  
“Want me to shoo them away?” he looked up at me with a grin. “It would cause rumors though.”  
“Rumors?”  
“You ran into my tent sweetness, someone is going to talk about that.”  
“Like what? I ran in here and we had super silent, super quick sex?”  
We both started laughing and he opened the flap and I followed him out. “They won't bite, they just want to see the person who saved them. The Herald of Andraste.”  
I nodded and put my best smile on. I shook hands, one woman hugged me and I hugged her back, for lack of anything better to do. But it was a lot of talking and smiling and reassuring them I was doing everything I could. I was exhausted when the last little group wandered off.  
“You did great!” Varric handed me something dark in a smaller wooden cup.  
“What's this?” I sniffed it experimentally. It was sweet-smelling, but I could smell a bitterness underneath it.  
“Wine.”  
“Not old enough to drink,” I tried to hand it back. He hooked an eyebrow at me. “I'm seventeen. You need to be twenty-one to drink where I come from.”  
“Well, you aren't where you come from, you're from here. At least try it. It's from my private stock.”  
“Okay,” and I took a sip. It tasted like raspberries! I took a big drink, feeling it burn a little on the way down.  
“Whoa! Slow down, sweetness!”  
“Why do you call me that?”  
He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish.  
“I've always done the nickname thing and they just kind of...you are nice to everyone. It fit.”  
I shrugged, I could handle sweetness.  
“What should I call you then? Hmmm....”  
“I'm nervous,” he laughed.  
“You should be,” I took another drink and then I was suddenly sitting on my ass. I looked over to Varric and he tipped his head back and roared.  
“Can it hot stuff,” I grumbled and then fist-pumped. “Hot stuff!.”  
“Hot stuff?” he looked down at me.  
“This is good stuff,” I drank the last bit of it and handed the mug back. He took it and set it near his tent.  
He took a seat next to me.  
“So how you holding up?”  
“I have no idea. It's been one thing after another. I found out I am not from the world I grew up in, that Jowan isn't crazy. I thought he was for years. I got blown up in the temple but somehow didn't die, I just crip walked my ass out of the fade, whatever that is. I have this thing on my hand that can close rifts and now everyone is calling me the herald of a divine being belonging to a religion I know nothing about.”  
“Most people would have spread that out over more than one day,” he agreed. “Forgot the soul of the old god living in your body.”  
“Oh yeah, can't go forgetting Urthemiel.”  
It was silent for some time, and I let myself get lost looking into the flames of the fire.  
“Bree?”  
“Hmm?”  
“What's crip walking?”


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks after I explained crip walking to Varric, I found myself doing nothing. The word useless floated through my head a few times. Sure, I could close rifts. But compared to what everyone else was doing around me, it was a very small consolation.  
“There has got to be something...” Varric was watching me from the other side of the fire.   
“It seems so crazy and yet so plausible that I come from somewhere so advanced I can't even be useful in what is essentially the middle ages.”  
Varric wisely said nothing as I tried to find something, anything, that would assist me here.   
“I can't fight, poor Cullen is trying is hardest to teach me. But I can't even lift his sword, let alone swing the practice one around for hours.”  
“Well, what about magic? I saw you with the fire,” He offered before taking a drink. I shrugged.  
“I've been trying, but so far nothing. I can't sew, I can cook a little, I don't know anything about blacksmithing or farming. I'm obviously not great at diplomacy, Lord Seeker Lucius had an old woman punched when he spotted me.”  
“Okay, okay, but you got Sera and convinced Vivienne to join the Inquisition.”  
“Hard thing to do, considering they both wanted in in the first place.”  
“Well, you are a looker,” he smiled at me and I blinked slowly at him.  
“Did you just pull the 'at least your pretty' card with me?” I practically snarled. “This is the Herald of Andraste, all she can do is close rifts, but she looks good doing it!”  
Varric laughed and shook his head.   
“Prostitution it is,” I sighed and took a drink of my wine. Varric started coughing hard, thumping his chest a few times.  
“Andraste's ass Bree,” Varric managed to get out at last. “I can't believe you said that!”  
“Said what?” Leliana had appeared out of thin air and was looking between us.  
“I'm not repeating that,” Varric held this hands up and Leliana turned to look at me.  
“So I was trying to bounce ideas off Varric for what I could do to be more useful,” she nodded her understanding so I continued. “When I came up dry, Varric very kindly let me know that I was 'a looker'. So with that in mind, I think prostitution is my only viable option. Taking dicks like a thief in the night.”  
Varric made a strangled noise and then began to laugh, I watched Leliana as her stony facade dropped and she joined Varric laughing   
“At least allow me to arrange the patrons,” Leliana giggled. “We could ensure it was used to our best advantage.”  
“See,” I pointed at her. “This is the kind of support I need Varric. And also we never tell Cassandra I said that.”  
“I think her head would explode if we did,” Varric wiped tears away from his eyes.   
“Agreed,” Leliana smiled. “But if you really would like to be of more aid, use your charms to gain us more allies.”  
“Charms? You must mean my special ability to make everything awkward.”  
“Varric is right. You are very pretty. Combined that with your foreign accent, your kind nature, and uncanny ability to befriend anyone, it makes you a desirable woman.”  
“Uncanny?” I asked. I liked people, I liked making friends. I was friendly.  
“Met someone who you haven't befriended yet?” Varric asked. “Solas doesn't count.” He added quickly. I narrowed my eyes at him.  
“Not yet, but that's not uncanny. And also, what the heck? Desirable? I'm desirable now?”  
“Not how I would write you,” Varric scratched his chin. “Her hair was the color of dawn's first light, golden with faint traces of red. It plunged over her shoulders, caressing her ample breasts to lie at her tapered waist...”  
“What kind of novel are you writing?” I shook my head. Sounded like one of those Harlequin romance jobs.  
“I have to write that down,” and he got up and dashed into his tent. I pursed my lips and looked over to Leliana.   
“I do not have any words of consolidation for you,” she took a seat beside me. “All I can say is that you are stronger than you know.”  
“Thanks,” I smiled.  
“When you smile, you remind me of your father.”  
“Ah, yes. The asshole.”  
She made a sort of snorting half-laugh noise before asking,  
“Why do you say that?”  
“Jowan told me that after everything they had been through when it came time to make a decision, he chose to let her go and rule with another woman. If that doesn't make you a first-class asshole, I don't know what does.”  
“He did offer to keep her as his mistress,” Leliana deadpanned. I turned to look at her.  
“Did my mother punch him in the face?!”   
“No, though she probably thought about it.”  
“A side chick,” I mumbled to myself. “Is she happy now? Is she with someone?”  
Leliana sighed and her eyes met mine.  
“What?” She had just been staring at me, her blue eyes assessing.   
“Your mother and I have been together for some time now,” her voice was soft. It made more sense now, she had been trying to figure out how I would react. I smiled at her.   
“That's great!”  
“You mean it?” her voice was guarded and a little...cold.   
“Of course I do. If you both are happy that's all that matters to me,” I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “You know, this sort of makes you like my other mother.”  
She shook her head, but she was smiling.  
“So I have an uncle who acted as a father, my birth mother Elissa and now you. Her girlfriend. My little family is coming along.”  
“You also have Alistair Theirin, King of Fereldan.”  
“He's not relevant,” I flippantly waved my hand. “My mother didn't tell him about me for a reason. And I trust her judgment.”  
“He is aware of you,” Leliana stood quickly. “Your mother wrote to him after she had you safely hidden and once again when you walked out of the fade with that mark upon your hand. I am sure he will wish to see you.”  
“You're just going to leave on that?” I asked her retreating form. I could hear her laughter and hummed to myself. So my mother was in a relationship with Leliana. And they were allies during the fifth blight, along with my bio-dad. I heard Varric shuffling around in his tent and called,  
“You get all that?”  
“Most of it,” he grinned as the walked through the flap with wine in his hands. “Leliana and the Hero of Fereldan... it sort of works, doesn't it?”  
“As long as they are happy, so am I.”  
“You know...,” he poured a glass for me and handed it to me. “If your father really is King Alistair of Fereldan, that makes you royalty. A princess, I believe.”  
I made a raspberry noise at him.  
“I have enough titles as it is, don't go adding more,” and I took a drink, a very moderate one. The last time we did this Varric had to carry me home. “And technically I'm the bastard child of the King.”  
“Well so was he. And as it stands, he has no heir.”  
“Well he was a warden, Jowan says the blight affects the reproductive systems. He's probably sterile.”  
“On that note,” Varric cleared his throat and I grinned. “Off to the storm coast tomorrow to collect the mercenary group. Any ideas who is coming with you?”  
I blew out air and regarded my cup for a few seconds.  
“You, for sure. If you would,” I began, licking my lips.  
“Of course,” he smiled.  
“And Blackwall, because I like his grumpiness.”  
“Of course you do.”  
“And...And...”  
“A mage,” he offered. “I'd chose Solas over Vivienne.”  
“You and me both. Training with her is a nightmare. So she's out. I'll ask Solas. And probably Cassandra, not that she would give me much of a choice.”  
He nodded and shifted feet. I hadn't known him long, but I spent most of my time with him. Jowan was busy assisting the healers and whatnot. Varric just always seemed to have time for me.  
“What's bothering you?” I asked.   
“You're observant,” he laughed. “I'm worried about you. You can't fight. Your magic is unpredictable. I mean...have you ever even been in a fight sweetness?”  
“No, I've never even so much as pushed someone. I managed to steer clear of trouble the last few times we were out and about. Thanks to the considerable efforts of everyone. This brings us back around to me being essentially useless.”  
“We'll figure it out. You should head for bed. It's a long walk.”  
I didn't argue, I got up and handed him my cup. As an afterthought I bent down and quickly kissed his cheek. I watched as he flushed pink.  
“Thank you for everything Varric,” I smiled  
“You're welcome.”  
I walked the short distance towards my small little cottage, head in the clouds. I turned the corner and someone let out a deep 'ahh' noise. I screamed and stepped back, slipping on the snow and landing hard on my ass.  
“It is us!” I heard Cassandra's voice and looked up at her. She was standing with Cullen and Solas.  
“What the hell!? You scared me half to death!” I cried at them, wincing a little as I got to my feet, ignoring Cullen's outstretched hand.  
“It did not work,” Cassandra turned to Solas. He gestured with his hands but said nothing.  
“This was a terrible idea,” Cullen was looking at me, his eyes assessing.  
“It seems emotional manipulation was not effective,” Solas was looking at me as well.  
They were talking as if I wasn't there. So I decided to leave and make that a real thing. When I reached my home away from home I shut and bolted the door closed. No unexpected visitors for me tonight. I tossed another log on the fire and took a seat on the floor near it. I inspected my hands.  
“Why don't you work when I want you too?” I asked them. The mark on my hand pulsed brightly for a moment. “I wasn't talking to you.”  
I got up and took my clothes off, opting for a weird long tunic thing to act as a nightshirt. I slipped into my covers and waited for sleep to take me.

I have waited a long time to talk to you, Bree.  
“Who's there?” I mumbled, rolling onto my side. Only I realized I wasn't in my bed anymore. I was laying on a cold, damp, stone floor. I sat up quickly.  
Be calm, little vessel. You are still sleeping peacefully in your cottage in Haven.  
There was a dim light around me, but I couldn't exactly pinpoint where it was coming from. Everywhere beyond the light was black.   
“Who are you?” I asked, shivering a little.  
I am Urthemiel, God of beauty, of grace and fairness.  
“Okay, so...are you wanting to leave? Or...”  
No dear child. I do not exist anywhere except for in you.   
“Why haven't you said something before now? If you've been with me my entire life...”  
I am a being of magic. That other place had none, so I was powerless. Now that we are home, we are getting stronger.   
“I don't understand. Are you separate inside of me? Like two people in one body?”  
I am simply the magic that courses through you.   
“Magic can talk? Is that how it normally works?” I was trying to not freak out here. I was talking to something, and a part of me was afraid it was a demon-like Jowan warned me about. But something about it was familiar. Like speaking to an old friend.  
No. It has taken a considerable amount of energy to speak with you like this, I apologize. You will be very tired come morning.   
“What is the point of this? Besides confirming what I had been told all my life. Is there some reason you have decided to speak up?” I felt ridiculous. I was essentially talking to myself.  
We are one. You have doubted it, and I came to placate your many fears. We are not weak. We are not useless. Do not believe the ones who tell you otherwise. You're soul and mine are one. My magic flows through you. You are a dragon god reborn.  
What does one say to a dragon god who is living inside of you? I had nothing so I stayed silent, letting him do all the talking.   
You will not hear me again little one. It is taxing on your precious human body. But know that I am within you always.   
I flew out of bed to the sound of someone beating on my door. I got tripped up by my feet and stumbled, catching myself on the door. I quickly threw the bolt and opened it. Cassandra was standing there in the dim morning light.   
“We need to be...”  
I grabbed her and pulled her inside.   
“What is...” she began but I cut her off.   
“I had a conversation with Urthemiel last night.”  
She stared at me for a few seconds before narrowing her eyes.  
“Could it have just been a dream? Or perhaps a demon was attempting to sway you?”  
“No, he didn't ask me for anything or try to trick me. He just confirmed that he was a part of me. He is the magic in me.”  
She narrowed her eyes even more.  
“And that was all?”  
“Yes.”  
“And will the dreams be reoccurring?”  
“No, he said it was too taxing on the human body. But that he would always be inside of me. And you are giving me that look. You don't believe me?”  
“I believe you believe it was Urthemiel. As long as it wasn't a demon I am grateful. Now gather your things, we are leaving for the Storm Coast.”  
She left me and I realized how crazy that must have sounded. I would have to be more careful. I quickly threw on thick leggings dark as coal and a wine tunic. I didn't wear much in the way of armor, a lace-up leather vest thing protected my chest. I had thigh-high boots that had shin guards on them and a pair of gloves. I tied my hair up in a high ponytail, a style that seemed to not be a thing here. It wasn't Ariana Grande high, but it sat right at the crown of my head.   
I had packed my bag earlier yesterday so all I had to do was grab it and go. I opened the door and stepped out, trepidation beginning to close in like it always did when I was getting ready to leave Haven. But it stopped almost immediately. I thought of Urthemiel and I grinned. Even if it was a dream, it was doing wonders for my self-esteem and peace of mind.  
“Are you set?” Cassandra was waiting with her arms crossed.  
“I am, I just need to say goodbye to Jowan.”  
“He is not here,” she uncrossed her arms. “I thought he told you...”  
“Told me what?” I felt anxiety flare up in me. Why wouldn't Jowan tell me if he was going somewhere?  
“He has left to go see what is left of his family. I can not believe he did not tell you,” she looked genuinely upset. “Do not let this incident affect you. He is more than capable of protecting himself.”  
I nodded, feeling like something was off. I knew Jowan my entire life. He always told me in person or left me a note if he wouldn't be around. Why would that change now?   
“You are troubled by this,” she sighed.  
“It's not like him,” I replied as I began to walk.  
“Perhaps being home has changed things in him? He no longer feels he needs to be ever watchful over you.”  
That felt a lot like being abandoned. I nodded, agreeing with her for lack of anything to say. I could see where he would want to locate family. And I would have never gotten in his way. But to not tell me? To slip away without so much as a goodbye?   
“I will have Leliana look into it,” Cassandra grumbled and walked ahead. I shuffled along, scuffing my feet as I thought.   
“What's the matter?” the gruff voice of Blackwall reached my ears. I looked up to see his heavy brow was furrowed at me.  
“Uncle Jowan left without telling me,” I worried at my lip. “Cassandra said he was going to see what was left of his family. It's not like him not to say anything to me.”  
He nodded and gave me a probably gentle for him but still slightly painful for me, pat on my shoulder.  
“He'll be alright,” Blackwall nodded. I could see Varric walking close to Cassandra, pestering her no doubt. Solas was behind us, doing whatever it was he did. “Been keeping up with the sword practice?”  
“Yes,” I smiled. “But it's so heavy. My arms feel like they are going to fall off.”  
“Aye, it's not really for a lady such as yourself. But it can't be helped, you need to be able to protect yourself,” he trailed off.  
I liked Blackwall for several reasons, but the main one was he didn't expect me to be a warrior. He tended to think of me as a 'lady'. And to hell with feminism but it was nice. I was soft and delicate. A few weeks here weren't going to change 17 years of that.   
“We should have brought a wagon for when you tire,” he grumbled and I laughed.  
“I would never ask anyone to do something I wasn't willing to do myself, but thank you for the thought.”  
Twelve days later-

I watched as a man charged at Varric, sword lifted and screaming. I had to do something, I wouldn't let him get hurt, couldn't watch that. I remembered what Urthemiel said and took a deep breath. I focused and when the man raised his sword in what would have no doubt been deeply painful if not killing blow, his sword disappeared.   
“Varric!” Cassandra and Blackwall had been moving towards him and both shouted his name at the same time. Varric pulled a knife from his waist and I closed my eyes.   
“Sweetness?” I slowly opened one eye to peek out.   
“Yeah?”  
“What are you doing?” I could hear him walking towards me.  
“Not watching you stab someone,” I mumbled.  
“You made his sword turn into sand.” I opened my eyes and smiled down at him.   
“I couldn't let you get hurt, and I won't hurt anyone so...”  
“Thank you.”  
“Absolutely.”  
“What did you do?” Cassandra asked as she approached.  
“I took his sword away,” I offered with a shrug.   
“And you can control that?” Cassandra's voice was dripping with suspicion. She had one eyebrow slightly hooked as she looked down at me.  
I felt like I could, reasonably. But I knew she wouldn't accept that as an answer. Nothing against her, she was wonderful and practical. But not inclined to take your word without some kind of proof. I didn't fault her for it.   
“Here,” Solas held out his hand to me. There was a small, but deep scrape on one of his knuckles. I took his hand without hesitation.  
“Oh Solas,” I cooed before I realized I was doing it. “This must have hurt.”  
“Try healing it,” he gave me a little nod of his head when our eyes met. I hadn't thought of trying that before. Could I do it? How? I had been holding his hand gently with one of mine and I placed the other one over it, slightly cupped so as not to put any kind of pressure on his injury. I thought about it healing, the tissue closing all the way down. The small scrapes around fading away without so much as a scar left behind. Oh, wouldn't it be great if I could heal everyone! No more dying because of stupid infections or the inability to stop the bleeding of a wound.   
“Bree,” I opened my eyes at my name, effectively stopping my daydreaming. Solas gently pulled his hand back from me and held it up. The cut was gone! Along with any abrasions around it.  
“Yes!” I exclaimed, grinning.   
“She did this alone? You did not assist her magic along?”  
“I am not a healer,” Solas looked at her. “My skills in that area are rudimentary at best.”  
“I've never seen magic heal like that,” Varric offered, looking at Solas's hand. “Didn't even leave a scar.”  
“Did it hurt?” I asked him.   
“No, it was very pleasant,” he nodded. I let out a sigh of relief.   
“Then it seems I owe you an apology Bree,” Cassandra smiled at me.   
“Accepted, although I am not sure what you are apologizing for.”  
She shook her head and walked away.  
“I think that's our cue to follow,” Varric and Solas began walking at the same time.  
“Well done Bree,” Blackwall, who had remained behind with me gave me a soft smile. “They were worried that you're magic would come out as a dragons. Destructive and dangerous.”  
“And you?” He looked down at me, his eyes slightly crinkled at the corners.   
“You've got a good heart,” he reached out hesitantly at first, but then seemed to get over it and gently gave my shoulder a little squeeze. “Maker, you're so young for all of this.”  
His hand fell away and I could see sadness creeping over his face.   
“Do you need a hug?” I asked, opening my arms as I spoke.   
“A...what?”   
“A hug,” I wiggled my fingers and waited.   
“That's probably not..” I didn't let him finish. I embraced him from the side and after a few moments, he returned it, although somewhat awkwardly.  
“Don't be sad by yourself okay?” I whispered to him, still holding on. He didn't speak, but the tightening of his one arm around my back let me know all I needed. “Come find me. I don't care what time it is, or what I am doing. Come find me. Promise?”  
“I promise,” I almost didn't hear it. We stood there for a few more seconds before I let him go. “Ever see a Qunari before?” his voice was back to normal. But his face, he didn't look as sad as he had. Which made me smile.  
“Nope.”  
We began to walk, ignoring the looks from our three other companions ahead of us.  
“Big bastards,” he nodded. “Don't let him intimidate you.”  
“I met one of them, he seemed nice,” I shrugged.  
“Well we're about to find out,” he grunted, sliding his sword from its place on his hip. The sound of fighting reached me as we rounded a large rock outcropping.   
“Bree stay clear of the fighting!” Cassandra called as they all raced forward. How did they know who was bad and who was good? A man or I guess not a man stood far taller than the rest. He had horns on his head, like a giant bull. He was swinging an ax around with ease and grace I didn't expect from someone his size.  
“Hello there pretty lady,” I felt something cold on my neck and froze. I reached a hand up to try and pull it away but he didn't budge. “Who are you now hmm? A whore of the mercenary group?”  
His breath was rank smelling and his face was rough feeling against the skin on my cheek.  
“BREE!” I looked up to see my friends only a few feet away. Varric had Bianca aimed at us, Blackwall was stock still, eyes pinned on the person holding me. Cassandra was snarling, her body tense.  
“Pretty name for such a supple thing,” the knife, I assumed it was a knife, pushed harder into my skin and I made a little pained noise.   
“Let me go,” I whispered. “Please.”  
“You're either a very good whore,” I felt his tongue on the side of my face and gagged audibly. “Or...” he suddenly screamed. I realized we were now right behind them. Blackwall grabbed the arm with the knife and easily pulled it away from me. I stumbled away and turned just in time to see Blackwall plunge that blade into the man's chest. I felt my head spin and took a seat.   
“How did she move them?” someone was asking.  
“Is she a mage?”  
“Not like one I've ever seen.”  
“Where is her staff?”  
“Back away, give her some room,” Cassandra barked out.  
“Lift your head for me, Bree,” I heard Solas's voice and did as he asked, fat tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.   
“The wound is shallow,” he put his hand over it and whispered to me. “Help me heal you.”  
I put my hand over his and thought about it healing. Willed it to close fast, seal uptight.   
“Well done,” he pulled our hands away. I opened my blurry eyes to look at all of them. Blackwall crouched down and opened his arms. A little half laugh, half sob escaped me and I embraced him.  
“I was so scared,” I spoke, not sure why or to who.   
“You did well Bree,” Cassandra spoke from my side. I opened my eyes to look at her from where my head was resting on Blackwall's chest.   
“I'm crying,” I countered.  
“You did not panic,” she continued. “And you used your magic to bring you to safety.”  
“I guess,” I sniffled. I could feel Blackwall's chuckle.  
“You know you sort of...disappeared and then reappeared right?” Varric laughed. “Crazy shit.”  
I took one big, deep breath in before slowly letting go of Blackwall.   
“Thanks,” I smiled at him.  
“Anytime.”  
I looked around and saw the mercenary company, or who I assumed was the mercenary company, looking at me. Great first impression Bree.   
“This is the Iron Bull,” Cassandra indicated to the large qunari. I stepped forward without thinking and held my hand out to him.  
“Bree Cousland,” I smiled the best I could. He looked down at me, one eye covered with an eyepatch, the other a dazzling greenish blue-grey.   
“You going to cry if I shake your hand?” his voice was a deep baritone.  
“If you squeeze it too hard I might,” I replied. It wasn't a nice thing to say, but I guess not everyone who worked with the Inquisition was going to be nice. He didn't say anything and I put my hand down.  
“Do you want the job or not?” Cassandra snapped from behind me. He was still looking at me and that sort of made me mad. I felt like he was judging me.  
“Do you have a problem with me?” I asked, crossing my arms under my chest.  
“You let that guy sneak up on you.”  
“What?” I asked.   
“You lead from the back of the line, let your guys take all the hits. You minimized the risk for yourself and that guy still got the jump on you.”  
“First of all,” I was mad now. “I don't lead anyone. Seems like your perception of things is a little askew. So take a step back and check your attitude.”  
It was silent for a few seconds before he started laughing.  
“That was a good one,” he bellowed. I shook my head and walked away.  
“Someone else deal with the giant jerk.”  
“Do you still wish to bring him on?” Cassandra asked. I stopped next to her.  
“I don't care. If you think he and his group will be an asset then how I feel about it really isn't important.” She nodded and went to speak to them. 

Our camp doubled in size from the addition of the Chargers. It was louder as well. I sighed as I read the reports from Haven that Cassandra had given me.  
“We will head back for Haven in the morning,” Cassandra told me as I handed back the letters.  
“We have to find the soldiers first,” I reminded her.   
“They are probably deserters,” someone from the chargers group mumbled as he walked by.  
“We don't know that. I'm not leaving until we have look. They deserve that much at least.”  
Cassandra nodded her head once and handed me a letter. It was opened, as was everything I was given. Privacy was an illusion for me here.   
“I would read that in your tent.”  
I raised an eyebrow at her but did as she bid. It was from Leliana and her network of spies. I shut the flap, which I didn't do unless I was changing or going to sleep for the night. Trepidation had sunk in and I found myself just staring at the letter. I don't know why.  
“Sweetness?” I turned my head to see Varric standing with the flap open, looking in on me.   
“Yeah?” I asked, swallowing.   
“You alright?”   
“I don't know,” I licked my lips and turned my attention back to the letter in my hands. “Cassandra gave me this letter and told me to read it in private but..I'm scared too. And I don't know why.”  
He nodded and came inside, letting the flap shut behind him. He took a seat on the mess of blankets and bedrolls that made up the corner of my tent. Blackwall called it my nest, after coming in to wake me one morning. It sort of stuck.  
“We can read it together,” he offered. I looked at him and wondered why Cassandra didn't like him. He was always so kind to me.  
“What if it's about my mom? Or Jowan? What am I going to do?”  
“We'll get through it, whatever it says.”  
I nodded and took the letter out with shaking hands. I read it quickly, my brow furrowing as I tried to understand what was being laid out.   
“Wait...what?”  
“Bad?” Varric asked, his face prepared for the worst.   
“Well, I think it's a marriage proposal...”  
Varric snatched the letter out of my hand and read it quickly. He snorted and stuffed the letter back into the envelope. I put my hands over my face and groaned.  
“I thought Jowan was dead,” I confessed. “Or dying. Cassandra had me..No that's not fair. I wound myself up.”  
“You need to write a response, or at least tell Cassandra and she will have Josephine write one up.”  
“Who is this person even? Have I met them?”   
Varric shrugged and I got up and walked out to find Cassandra. She was standing with Blackwall talking to the Iron Bull.   
“Have you read it?” she asked with a little smile.  
“Next time just tell me it's a marriage proposal. I thought I was about to find out my uncle was dead.”  
Her smile fell and she shook her head.  
“I am sorry I did not mean to frighten you.”  
“It's alright. The answer is no, by the way. And will always be no, for future reference.”  
She smiled and nodded.  
“Josephine has already turned two other proposals away, this one was the only one we saw befitting someone of your...stature.”  
“We can get her a big denied stamp and some red ink. Bam! Stamp it on every one of them. Save her some time.”  
“Noted.”  
“And why are these people proposing in the first place? They've never met me, I could be a stone-cold bitch or straight-up crazy.”  
“This is a discussion for another time,” Cassandra gave me a look and it took me a moment to understand. Iron Jerk was not one of us. He didn't know the full truth about me yet, something Leliana was playing close to the chest. Only my crew knew I was from...well not here. “We leave in the morning with the chargers to look for the missing soldiers. I suggest you get some rest.”  
I turned to leave when Iron Bull spoke to me.  
“Not even a glance in my direction. You really hold a grudge.”  
I turned to look at him and smiled as sweetly as I knew how.  
“A grudge is a persistent feeling of resentment or ill will towards someone. I have neither for you.”  
“No?” he goaded me.  
“No. I just don't like you.”  
“What?” his one good eye grew.  
“Bree,” Cassandra admonished me.  
“Peek not through the keyhole, lest ye be vexed,” I offered the little ditty I read in Stephen King's Duma Key. “First impressions are called that for a reason. You witnessed what happened, knew I was frightened and upset. And you still made the choice to be cruel. That is not the type of person I want to associate myself with.”  
I didn't say it to be mean or anything. I was just telling the truth. He rumbled a little before speaking.  
“You're right,” he nodded.   
“Glad we're on the same page.”  
“Can we start over?” he asked, surprising me a little. He stuck his hand out and I studied him for a moment before nodding.  
“Sure,” I smiled and put my small hand out. Then faltered. “How do I do this?” His hand was so large there was no way I would be able to take it as a regular handshake. I was 5'2. The iron bull was easily 7 feet tall. He smiled and reached up higher, taking my forearm into his grip. I copied, except it was his wrist and my hand didn't even reach halfway around it. He pumped it once and then let it go.  
“Nice meeting ya boss,” he nodded.  
“It's Bree,” I began and Varric cut me off.   
“Or Sweetness. She answers to that.”  
“Sweetness,” Bull's deep voice made it sound a little more rated R than when Varric or the others called me it. “Fits.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Blackwall,” I whined, letting my arm drop. The tip of my sword hit the ground with a metallic clink. “My arm feels like it is going to fall off.”  
“It won't,” he laughed, sheathing his sword as he walked closer to me. I wasn't so sure, I could barely lift it without agony. He held his hand out and I lifted the sword with great effort, my arm shaking terribly. His brow came down and he took the sword, stabbing it into the dirt.   
“Let me see,” but he really didn't give me a choice. He put a hand under my leather armor, but over my tunic. His hand felt cool against my aching shoulder. “Aye, we're done.”  
“I'm not going to be able to lift my arm later,” I complained, rubbing it. He had a sad look come onto his face and I realized I was making him feel bad. So I smiled at him.  
“Thank you, for teaching me. Even though I am a big baby about it.”  
“I overworked you today,” he nodded. “Shoulder's hot to the touch. Put cool rags on it.” He walked away and I sighed. I really sucked at cheering people up. I looked over lake Luthias, remembering the first time I saw it. The first time I met Blackwall. I began unlacing my leather armor, shucking it to the ground. It took some time, but soon I was just in my bra and panties.   
I walked in slowly, feeling the cool water engulf my feet and then my calves. I kept going until I was up to my waist. A prickling sensation broke out over my skin and I turned to look back at the shore. I could feel someone watching me, but couldn't see them.  
“Enjoy the show?” I called right before I submerged myself completely. I came up and saw it was the Iron Bull.  
“I did,” he walked and took a seat on a fallen tree.   
“Coming swimming with me?” I asked, moving closer. He propped his leg up and I got a good look at his ankle brace. “Are you alright?”  
I started walking, my body rising out of the water.   
“Old injury,” he mused, eye running over me.   
“Cool water can help,” I smiled, leaning back to float a little.  
“And here I thought you were a prude,” he rumbled out.   
“That's a weird thing to say.”  
“Heard you were the daughter of the hero of Fereldan,” he finished undoing his ankle brace and kicked off his other boot. “And something about you having the soul of a dragon inside you.” He dropped his pants, giving me a full frontal. I don't know if he expected me to close my eyes or turn away, but I did neither.   
“Definitely not a prude,” he grinned.  
“You looked at me.”  
“That I did.” He walked out to me slowly and I leaned back again, floating.  
“I am the daughter of Elissa Cousland and Alistair Theirin, King of Fereldan,” I began. “Before my mother fought and killed the archdemon, she and Alistair made a deal with Morrigan, a mage of great power. They did a ritual to trap the soul of the archdemon inside her womb, allowing my mother to live. Except they didn't know I was in my mothers womb, so instead of going to Morrigan, it went to her.”  
“So you've got the soul of an archdemon inside of you?” his voice was right next to me. I opened my eyes and he was standing near me.  
“Urthemiel, the dragon of beauty.”  
“How's that work?” he asked. I adjusted so I was upright. My feet didn't touch the bottom, so I swam gently.  
“We're one, he's the magic that flows through me.”  
“So you have a dragon soul, but you don't like to fight?”  
“My soul is my own, Urthemiel is just, well he's me. Or I am him, I guess. At least that's what he said.”  
“He said?” I looked at him and shook my head, smiling.   
“I know, it sounds crazy. But he talked to me in a dream.”  
He looked like he didn't believe me and I didn't blame him. It was bizarre and fantastical and at this point nothing would surprise me.   
I turned so I was facing away from him and held my hand out. I fire erupted out of it, the water on the surface sizzling and boiling as steam flowed up.  
“I can make it hotter,” I turned to look at him. “But it's dangerous and to be honest, I'm a little afraid of fire.”  
He nodded and then ducked under the water.  
“Bree, seen the Bull?” I turned to look at Krem, who was just now noticing both our discarded clothes. “Oh.” He blushed red like a tomato and Bull came up for air.  
“Krem! Coming in for a dip?” he boomed.  
“Ugh.” his eyes went to me and then to Bull and back to me.  
“Come on Krem, Bree doesn't care about what's under your clothes.”  
“I'm not naked Krem, swim with your under things on if your more comfortable,” I smiled. He was still hesitant so I turned around to give him some privacy. I grabbed Bull's arm and pulled him around as well.  
“Why am I turning around? He's worried about you, not me.”  
“Well for the illusion of privacy.”  
I heard the water move after some time and Krem called out to us.  
“You can turn around now.”  
We moved at the same time, Bull bumping my sore shoulder as he did so. I let out a loud hiss and moved away from him.   
“Blackwall worked you over good today, right?” Krem nodded. “I caught the end of your training.”  
“How many people watched me get undressed?” I asked aloud.  
“Well me,” Bull began counting off on his fingers. “Krem, Blackwall I think, Varric stumbled in and then left quickly. About a handful of the patrol.”  
“I should have charged admission!” I splashed water at him. “Glad I didn't take it all off.”  
“I would have stopped you before then,” he smiled. “Unless I was alone.”  
“Bree!” my name thundered across the lake in a terrifying boom. I looked to shore and saw Cassandra standing there.  
“Hi Cassandra,” I waved, playing it off like I wasn't terrified of her.  
“Are you naked in there?” she demanded, stooping down to pick up my clothes.  
“Maybe...” I began but a sharp look from her stopped me dead. “No, I've got my undies on.”  
“Swimming with two naked men is..”  
“Only Bull is naked,” I interrupted her.   
“That is not the point, think you your reputation!”  
“Bree, Herald of Andraste, closer of rifts and slayer of demons. Also swims with naked men. I like it,” Varric came out of the bushes with a grin. I laughed until I got a cramp and had to hold onto Bull for support.  
I thought Cassandra was going to be more upset, but instead she smiled and shook her head.  
“Be responsible Bree,” she nodded at me before leaving. It was quiet for a moment before I looked at Bull and Krem.  
“Why do I feel like I was just warned about premarital sex?”  
“Because you were,” Varric grinned. He sat down and took out a wine bottle, shaking it at me lightly.   
“Ooh,” I swam towards shore, walking when my feet touched. I was about calf deep when I looked down and noticed a long, dark brown, leech on my stomach. I screamed, hitting at it several times and losing my balance in my panic and falling into the shallow water. Varric grabbed me up, his grip stronger than I would have given him credit for.  
“Get it off,” I wailed, looking down and still seeing it attached to me. He reached down and pulled, I had to watch as it stretched to an almost comical length before it let go. “Oh my god, are there more?”  
I kept my eyes closed tight as I felt Varric move around me.  
“Nope, just the one.”  
I opened my eyes and sighed in relief.  
“Thank you,” I smiled at him. Rustling leaves could be heard seconds before Blackwall came bursting from the woods.  
“What's the ma...” Blackwall stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me. His face went from pale to pink in an instant before he turned around. “I beg your forgiveness, I heard you screaming and..”  
“I was swimming and there was a leech incident. I'm sorry I worried you.”  
He nodded and walked away without looking back at me.  
“What was that about?” I asked Varric.  
“You're in a state of undress and Blackwall is chivalrous.”  
“But we're swimming,” I was confused. “Everyone swims in something similar to this, or less, where I come from. Do you not do that here?”  
“Nope,” Bull smiled, walking slowly out of the water towards us. Varric coughed and turned away, obviously not wanting to see him naked. “Got any leeches on me?”  
He was grinning as I moved closer.   
“Arms up,” I told him as I moved around, looking. Which was hard to do considering he was extremely well endowed and muscular. But I did it anyway.  
“Leech free,” I smiled and stepped away.  
“Not even a blush,” he looked sad. But I could tell he was teasing me.   
“You don't blush when you look at me,” I countered.  
“You're not naked.”  
“From all the talk I hear from the women..and the men, I'm sure there is nothing you haven't seen under these,” I indicated my bra and panties. That might not necessarily be true, I thought to myself. I had my nipples pierced. My friends and I bought fake ID's and went into a shop two towns over when we were sixteen.   
“Lost your train of thought?” Varric asked, bringing me out of my memory.  
“Yeah, sorry about that. Got lost down memory lane.”  
“What were you remembering?” Bull was pulling on his pants now.  
“The time I went and got my nipples pierced with my friends,” I smiled. He stumbled a little but managed to get his foot in his pant leg.  
“You have your nipples pierced?” Varric asked, passing me the bottle of wine.  
“Yeah, Jowan didn't let me do a lot with my looks. Wasn't allowed to cut my hair, wear makeup, pierce anything visible...”  
“I get it,” Krem spoke. I turned and watched as he walked out of the water. I was a little surprised to see that Krem had female anatomy, I would have never guessed. “You just wanted a little bit of control.”   
“Exactly,” I grinned, holding his eyes for a moment before turning to give him privacy. It must have taken a great deal of bravery on his end, and that in turn must have meant he trusted me.   
“Hurt?” Krem asked.  
“Oh yeah. Even during the healing process. I had to be really careful hauling wood inside and such.”  
I watched as Varric spoke to Bull, my thoughts turned towards home.  
“Thank you,” Krem spoke softy at my side. I turned my head to look up at him.  
“What for?” I asked, handing him the wine jug.  
“I don't usually..people don't always understand,” he took the jug and gulped some down.  
“I'm happy you felt like you could be yourself around me.”  
He didn't seem to know what to say, so he just nodded and took another drink. He wandered over to Varric and took a seat, but I noticed he had left the top button of his shirt undone.  
“Never seen Krem do that before,” Bull rumbled as he handed me my clothes. I slipped my leggings on and then pulled my tunic over my head.  
“Well I'm glad he feels comfortable enough around me,” I grinned, sitting down on a log to wipe my feet off before putting my socks and boots on. Bull followed.  
“I'm going to say this and you might not like it. Might piss you off, but I'm going to say it anyways. Krem did something here I have never seen him do before. He let you in, he trusts you. Believes in you,” he stopped talking and looked over to Krem, who was laughing at something Varric said.  
“I won't,” I smiled up at him.  
“What?” he snapped his head down, his good eye leveling on me.  
“You're going to tell me that I better not betray the trust he put in me. And I won't. Not for anything in the world.”  
He watched me, and I could see doubt in his eyes.  
“My mother told me to trust in my allies and seek comfort in my friends. I spent the better part of the afternoon swimming around nearly naked with all of you. Call it a trust exercise, to find out if you stayed in the ally category or moved into the friend one.”  
“Where do I fall?” he asked.  
“Firmly in the friend category. Along with Krem.”  
“What about Varric?”  
“Oh, he's in the family category. I love that hairy little man like a brother.”  
“Love?”  
“Yeah. I mean I love all my friends too, don't get me wrong. But it's stronger.”  
“That's a lot of love,” Bull shook his head.  
“I am a lover,” I laughed as I slipped one boot on.  
“Who's?” he rumbled.  
“Who's what?” I was doing my best to get every tiny bit of sand off my other foot before I put it in my sock. Sandy toes sucked.  
“Who's lover are you?”  
I turned to stare at him, a puzzled look on my face.   
“Did I miss something here?” I asked.  
“You said you were a lover, and I asked who's,” Bull chuckled.   
“Oh, I'm sorry. It's part of a saying from back home. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I didn't mean I was actually somebodies lover.”  
“No?”  
“Nope. Why you offering to fill the position?” I joked as I tugged my boot on.  
“What if I am?” his voice was close to my ear and it made me shiver. He had no right to have a voice like that. I turned to look at him, his face a few inches from mine.  
“Bull, you are an incredibly attractive man, with a voice that does things to me it has no right doing. But I saw what your packing and I'm pretty sure it would kill me.”  
He tipped his head back and laughed. He fell backwards off the log we were sitting on and continued to laugh as I shook my head. Varric and Krem were now looking over here and I shrugged my shoulders to let them know I had no idea either.  
“That's a good one,” he gruffed as he sat up, his abs flexing and my mind temporarily short circuiting. Why in the hell was I going all mushy for him? He was a classic man slut, bordering on fuck boy territory. “You are good for my ego.”  
“You're welcome,” and I had to fight the urge to sing it, damn you Moana. But not the Rock because he was damn fine.   
“When your ready sweetness, I'm all yours,” he was standing next to my sitting form and I got to rake my eyes up his thighs, to his hips. Stomach and then chest. It was so not fair. I finally landed on his good eye, which was full of mischief.   
“Thank you for the offer,” I got up, trying to figure out what to say.   
“I'm serious,” he purposefully made his voice go lower. I glared at him. “I'm a great ride.”  
“Oh yeah?” I licked my lips and got a little cocky. “The next time we get a break I'll come find you and be the judge of that.” Oh why the hell did I say that?! That was not what I had planned to say!  
“I'll hold you to that sweetness,” and he leaned down and ever so gently, took my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked. I was so surprised I jerked back and went ass over tea kettle courtesy of the log.  
Bull laughed and I just lay there, staring into the beautiful blue sky. Denying the fact that I was now on fire in a way I hadn't ever felt before. I wasn't a virgin, I had slept with a boy at a party one night. Jowan had thought I was studying, he was far to trusting at times. We had started kissing and I liked it, liked the way he made me feel. So I just went with it. It wasn't the greatest experience, it was awkward and fumbling and pretty much what you would expect from a first time.   
“Bree?” Bull was looking down at me with concern. “Hey, if I overstepped..”  
“No,” I smiled up at him. “I was just cooling down. Your fault.”  
Now he was grinning.   
“From just that?”  
“Don't tease, it's bad,” I whined. And I was telling the truth. I was wet and throbbing, like it had it's own heartbeat. I watched as he looked over his shoulder once before climbing over the log. He took a seat and motioned for me to come to him. I groaned and sat up, wondering what nonsense we was up to now. As soon as I was sitting up he grabbed me and pulled me to him.  
“Whoa,” the word whooshed out as he turned me quickly and put my back against his chest, planting my butt firmly in his lap.  
“Tell me to stop,” his mouth was against my ear, hot and wet. I didn't know what he was talking about at first, but then I felt his hand. His big, strong, hot hand slid down the front of my leggings to cup me. I gasped and he turned my head so he could reach my mouth with his.   
“Hmm,” he growled, spreading my wetness around in the confined area. He ghosted across my clit and I jerked as a bolt of lightning like pleasure rocketed through me. “All this for me?”  
“Because of you,” my eyes rolled back when he slipped a single finger inside me.  
“Tight,” he growled out. “Are you a virgin? I only ask so I know how deep I can go.”  
“No,” I moaned, one hand digging into his thigh beneath me and the other with a death grip on his wrist.  
“Good,” and his finger slid in deeper, deeper than my own, deeper than my only other partner reached. His thumb flicked across my clit once, twice, three times before he pushed down, grinding on it. Giving me the friction I desperately needed.   
He caught the loud moan escaping my mouth with his as he picked up his pace. His mouth felt extra hot, his tongue swirling around mine. I felt it coming, the tightening of my walls, the arching of my back and the curling of my toes in my boots. My orgasm exploded on to me and I rocked my hips hard to try and keep it going. I collapsed against him, legs twitching every now and again.  
“Oh my god,” I whispered when Bull released my mouth.   
“Good?” he murmured, slowly sliding his hand out of my pants. The second I saw it I gasped. His entire hand was covered with me.  
“I'm sorry,” I apologized. He stretched his fingers out, watching as it strung between them.  
“Don't be, it's a compliment. Next time I'll have you pretty pale legs thrown over my horns and you'll come on my face that way.”  
“No wonder so many people want to sleep with you,” I sighed, relaxing against him.  
“Does that bother you?” he asked, adjusting himself a little and throwing an arm around my waist.  
“No,” I replied. “It's nice, sort of. You know what your doing, obviously.”  
“And you don't?”  
“I mean I know how it all works,” I laughed. “But I've only ever been with one other person. And that was just so I could lose my virginity and get it over with.”  
“Do you want lessons?” he joked and I laughed. He joined me.  
“I just like the way you make me feel, does it have to be anything more than that?” I asked when we were all done.  
“No,” he rumbled. “That's a good enough reason.”  
“What about you, what did you get out of it?”  
“You may not have noticed, you were pretty lost there for awhile, but you were grinding yourself on me pretty good. I got what I needed right before you did.”  
“Well I feel less bad now.”  
“Bree? Bull?”   
“Oh shit,” I sat up quickly and looked at Bull. “Why do I feel like Cassandra knows what we just did?”  
“She doesn't,” and he plucked me out of his lap and set me next to him. “So that particular Qunari war ship is called a dreadnought.”  
“Ahh, okay,” I picked up on what he was doing and played along. “How many can they hold? What is there maximum time at sea?”  
“Why are you asking about Qunari war ships?” Cassandra leaned over to look at us. “And why are you hiding behind this log?”  
“I fell back here actually,” I began. “Bull came to help me up but I told him to leave me down here to die. So he said he would wait with me until the end. Which was really pretty crazy of him, considering it's going to take days.”  
She shook her head and leaned back.  
“You are insufferable at time,” but I could tell she was smiling.  
“That's one of my better qualities,” I laughed as I stood up. My knees buckled and Bull caught me with a grin.  
I climbed over the log with some reservation, I was sore down there.  
“You are walking funny,” Cassandra commented and I nearly choked on my own spit.   
“My leg is asleep,” I grimaced at her. “I laid down there to long.  
“There is probably a lesson in that for you,” she smiled and started ahead of me. I turned back to Bull with large eyes. He tipped his head back and roared out his laughter.


	4. Chapter 4

When we reached Haven I was kept busy for weeks. Leliana told me her spies hadn't seen or heard from Jowan, but that she would keep looking. Cullen was kind enough to take me under his wing and teach me how to read a map properly. It wasn't as easy as I thought. And I learned a great deal about strategy and where all of our troops were.

"Alright," I sighed, running my hands over my tired face. Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "I think we should call it a night before we just pass out on the table."

He snorted out a laugh but agreed.

"Pick this back up in the morning?" he asked as we walked out.

"Yes, and thank you again for helping me. It's so much to take on."

"You are doing well," he nodded. "It will come easier the more you do it."

I nodded, smiling.

"Well goodnight," I gave him a little wave and headed down the path to my small house. I was looking forward to kicking my boots off and snuggling in my warm bed. I opened the door and shut it, throwing the bolt over. It was toasty in here and I let out a sigh. I shucked my boots off at the door and headed into the main room. I stopped dead at the sight of Bull laying on my bed. His eyes were closed, mead cup laying on its side next to his dangling arm.

"Bull," I spoke softly, trying to wake him up gently. Did the big ass get drunk and wander in here? I shook his shoulder gently and he bolted up, his forehead crashing into mine. I yelped and fell back onto the floor, holding my head in my hands.

"Oh shit," he grumbled and was suddenly pulling my hands away from my head. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was gently running his hand over the sore spot. His eye traveled down and met mine. I smiled up at him.

"Hey sweetness," his voice was low and quiet. His hand trailed down from my forehead to gently run along my face. He ran a finger over my lips before slowly leaning down and kissing me. It was soft, nothing like what we had shared weeks ago at Lake Luthias.

"You drunk?" I asked him when he pulled away. He smiled, but it didn't reach his eye.

"I'd never come to you like that," he sighed and helped me up.

"I just thought," I pointed to the spilled ale and my messed up bed. "Sorry. Didn't mean to offend you."

He looked to the spilled ale and nodded. I tugged my tunic over my head and tossed it in the corner. I could feel his eyes on me as I slid my pants down as well, walking over to the chest that served as my dresser. I pulled out a large, thin tunic. It had been one of Varric's undershirts. So it was big and just hit the tops of my thighs. Once I had it on I tucked my arms in and removed my bra, or small things, as they called them here, and let it join the others. I turned around and Bull gave me a once over.

"Are you staying the night?" I asked, moving to pick up the turned over tankard.

"That what you want?" he asked. I set it down on the small table and looked at him.

"Not everything is about me," I put my hands on my hips. "You have a voice too."

"You still working on reading maps with Curly?" he asked, taking a seat on my bed. He leaned down and began to undo the lace of one boot. I got on my knees and started undoing the brace on the other.

"Yeah, it's so hard," I bemoaned. "There is just so much to learn. And then understanding our troop movements." I shook my head as I gently took his brace off and set it on the table behind me. I undid the laces. "Forward troops, flank guards. It's confusing," I sighed and pulled his boot off. "Enough about me. How was your day?"

He put a hand under my chin and made me look up at him.

"Come to bed," his voice was a deep timber. I set his boot aside and got up. He stood as well, hands working to undo his large belt as I climbed in. I took the furthest side, near the wall.

"It's colder by the wall," he climbed in after me, lifting the blanket to cover both of us.

"That's okay."

"Are you always selfless?" he hummed as he reached over and grabbed me, easily pulling me over him and onto the other side. I felt his hard on rub against me as I went and it sent a spike of heat through me.

"I was just being nice," I mumbled, rolling onto my side to get comfortable.

"Why are you so far away?" he asked, running a hand up my bare leg.

"I was giving you space," I rolled over so I was looking at him. He was on his side, propped up on his elbow.

"I'm naked in your bed," he laughed.

"Well," I propped myself up as well, except I rested the side of my head in my hand. "Maybe you just came here because you didn't want to sleep alone. Or for comfort. Or because you had a bad dream or something. I wasn't going to make any assumptions."

"You let a lot of guys get in bed naked with you if they have bad dreams?" he teased.

"Of course not. But you're my friend. I figure if you ever needed something from me you would just say it."

"So you would let me sleep in your bed naked whenever I wanted?"

"Don't take advantage," I lightly punched his arm.

"I'd be a fool not too," he dipped down and caught my lips with his. Again it was gentle. Slow. But soon his tongue slipped in and the kiss turned more heated. He pulled me under him, rolling easily on top of me. His hands pushed up my tunic, pulling it over my head. He sat up and drank me in, his eye wandering down my body and back up again. He stared at my nipples with their little silver bars and small beads.

"That's fucking hot," he growled before leaning down to suck on one. I whimpered. His tongue traced the bar, nibbling and even gently pulling on the bar. I ran my hands over his massive horns and down the sides of his head. I traced his ears gently and he shivered, letting go of my nipple with a wet popping sound.

"Let's see if I can get you wetter than last time," he grinned and slid a hand down between us. I gasped as he slowly rubbed a finger up and down me, gently rolling across my clit before sliding one finger inside me.

"What about you?" I panted as he moved that finger in and out. He curled it and twisted it until I was writhing under him.

"What about me?" he asked, nipping my ear. I slid my hand down his strong chest, past his getting soft tummy, and down to grasp him. He groaned in my ear and I encircled him the best I could, stroking him.

"Hmm, sweetness," his hips were moving slowly, thrusting himself into my hand.

"My turn," I let go of him and used my hand to stop his lazy fingering. "On your back. Please."

He looked at me for a moment and then did as I asked. I straddled him, my knees not quite touching the mattress beneath us.

"Am I too heavy?" I asked as I kissed his chest. I felt his laugh before I heard it. It bounced me on his stomach and I sat up to look at him. He bucked once, bouncing me harder, and moaned.

"I'm more of an ass guy," his hands shot up and groped my chest. "But you've got two great arguments up here."

I laughed and returned to what I was doing, I slowly kissed every scar I could find, which was a lot. It took time but I did it as I moved lower and lower down his body. I purposefully didn't go right where he wanted me. I was trying to show my appreciation to him, for him. I moved lower kissing his thighs, his knees. When I kissed his injured ankle, he sighed.

"Hurt?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Sore."

I took a seat and lifted his huge foot into my lap. He peered down at me, curiosity burning in that one beautiful eye of his. I began to rub his foot like they did when you got a pedicure. It felt so amazing when they did it, so I figured it couldn't hurt to try it on him. He moaned and closed his eye. I worked at it for so long that for a moment I thought he was asleep.

"Trying to distract me?" he rumbled, sitting up. I watched as his arm muscles flex as he reached down for me.

"No, just trying to take some of the soreness away," I smiled, letting him drag me up and back onto him. He purposefully slid me right over his hard member and I gasped. He grinned and met my mouth for another kiss as he locked his arms around me. We kissed until my lips hurt and then kept going. One of his arms slid down my back, down my crack, and into my folds. I gasped into him, rocking slowly on that finger. It was slow and lazy and I wanted more. I pulled away from his mouth to meet his eye.

"Can we...," I blushed a little and he rumbled out a laugh.

"You sure this is what you want?"

"Very sure," I nodded, taking his cock in my hand and slowly, so slowly, lowering myself onto it. I expected it to hurt, just based on his size and my own first-time experience. But it slid in with little resistance.

"Oh my god," I whined, the feeling like nothing I had ever felt before. My thighs were shaking with the effort and Bull tipped my head up to catch my lips. He nipped and gently pulled at my lips, praising me.

"That's it," he hissed. "Take it all."

"There's so much," and that was the truth. I was getting this overstuffed feeling, not sure how much more I could actually take. It was starting to ache. Bull must have known or sensed it because he carefully held me to him and rolled us so I was on my back. He pulled out and moved back in slowly, rolling his hips. It drew a noise from my lips that I wasn't aware I could make.

He made a rumbling noise in his chest and did it again, and again until I was begging him for more. I didn't know what that meant but he seemed too. His hips picked up the pace, the sound of skin slapping on skin echoed around the room.

"You're so wet," he leaned down and nipped my ear. "Your pussy is melting around my cock."

"Sorry," I gasped, arms clinging around his neck. He laughed.

"Don't be, I fucking love it."

"Bull," I cried out his name when he thrust harder. "Oh god, I'm coming."

He kept up those hard thrusts, as my orgasm exploded over me. My legs shook and my toes curled as I threw my head back and howled out his name. He picked up the pace, the bed shaking and rapping against the wall loudly as I felt another one coming.

"Please," I cried out. "Oh, Bull please!" and then it washed over me again. I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head and I dug my hands into his back. He let out a tirade of the dirtiest things I had ever heard in my life before his entire body lurched and he began to hammer into me. When he was done he collapsed, his face in my neck and horn resting against my cheek.

"You okay?" he rumbled, breathing hard.

"Hmm," I turned my face and kissed the side of his head. He pushed himself up and looked down between our bodies to watch as he pulled out of me. It was the strangest feeling. I looked at him and gasped. All around his hips, his groin, and down his thighs were glistening and wet.

"I'm nothing compared to you," he grinned. "You're going to be leaking for hours."

He laughed at the face I made. I realized now that underneath my ass was damp. I moved to sit up and felt an ache flare-up.

"No moving for you," Bull's smile was predatory. "Not many can take all of me. Even less take it all and get it as rough as you did. And on the first go."

"You're just that good," I joked. But not really. Because he was.

"When I watched your tiny little pussy lips stretch around my big cock I almost came." He was gently rubbing my clit now. My breath came out in stutters. "And then you just kept gobbling more and more of it up, taking me right down to the hilt." He kept up his slow pace, his eye never leaving my face. "I had to move you, take control or you were going to make me come."

"Sorry," I replied breathlessly. His dirty talk was doing a number on me. My breathing was quickening. He leaned forward to catch my lips. I grabbed his face, glad to have something to hold onto while he worked me over. "It just feels so good, you make me feel so full."

"You keep talking like that sweetness and I'm going to take you again," he growled, pinching my clit between his fingers. I gasped and felt it building.

"Don't stop. Oh god right there, like that," I moaned and he rolled my clit between his fingers. "I'm coming. Oh Bull," and it rolled over me. He slipped a finger inside and I clamped down on it as everything clenched. He kept gliding his thumb over me, dragging it out. I was exhausted when he was done, limp and boneless feeling. I closed my eyes and felt sleep calling to me, I fought it, trying to stay awake but he rumbled out,

"Go to sleep sweetness."

And I was out like a light.


End file.
